June 19, 2008

Now that our children, Rebecca and Jacob, know that their baby’s death is imminent, they and we wait again.  Sadly, Jesus probably won’t come back before she dies (as our sweet daughter-in-law said she prayed) and so they won’t be spared that tragic and difficult experience.  Because there will be no escaping this, waiting is the only option.

And enjoying the moments.  It’s interesting to see how focused these two are on maximizing every moment, capturing every detail, soaking in their baby’s presence:  taking hundreds of photos, hours of video, capturing hand prints and foot prints, reading stories to her, saying prayers over her and more.  This opportunity God has given us is a dark but holy pulling away from all of our hectic lives.  He’s giving so many of us an experience of His presence when all the trivial and all the tinsel is suddenly so very unimportant.  The glitter is gone.  Only the two things that will last into eternity matter during this crisis:  people and God’s Word.

Rebecca has asked all family members who are here at the hospital to write baby Molly a letter in the journal she kept during her pregnancy.  Today, our son read his entry over the tiny bed where she lay.  It was a powerful moment as he spoke to her of heaven and his hope of running with her someday.  It will be an uncontainable joy to watch on That Day as these two who are handicapped on this earth will run together with abandon and delight. 

We played “Untitled Hymn” by Chris Rice, a favorite song for so many of us, and wept together over the baby.

Then our other son sang one of our family’s favorite songs over her crib, “God is So Good”.  Again we all sobbed.  Pam and Bill, Jacob’s parents, read a story Pam wrote about their son who died as a baby.  And we all cried again.  We feel each time as if there can’t be any more tears, but they keep coming.  And we have more days of agony ahead.  Can these days be crossed and survived?  It feels as if they cannot.  But the hope of Christ, the strong presence of the Holy Spirit in our hearts, the power of the prayers of thousands and thousands are giving strength that could not have been imagined.

As we wait we experience Him and see Him at work as never before.